waving the white flag

I give up. Totally.

As most of the three of you have figured out by now, I love baseball. I have always said that I was the last person in America to believe that Pete Rose didn't bet on baseball. The creeping cynic has always said that I was pulling the pine tar rag over my own eyes. But in my heart of hearts I wanted to believe. Sure, I read "Ball Four" and "Juiced". I even started to read Rose's book. But still, I wanted to believe.

I guess I'm not in Kansas anymore.

The night Mark McGwire broke Roger Maris's home run record, I sat with my kid in my lap, wanting to share the moment, even if he was too little to understand it. I showed him the greats on ESPN Classic, even when he wanted to watch cartoons. I wanted him to know about fair play, good sportsmanship, and the wonder of the game. But after all is said and done, I feel like a liar.

Today on Bloggerman, Keith Olbermann related the final straw on my camel's back. You can read it yourself at www.countdown.msnbc.com. Another player, this time a guy in the league 15 years, playing with 7 teams. Looks like he was using, and dealing, as well as having an interest in a pharmaceutical company. More steroids, human growth hormone, whatever.

So I give up. I will probably still watch my beloved Yankees, but not with the same joy. These guys want to shoot themselves up with HGH, steroids, horse piss, tequila sunrise, have at it. They can continue to go to hell in their own merry way. When it all falls apart and everyone gets hurt bad, or arrested, or both, the creeping cynic will say good riddance.

But the pure fan inside will mourn for what she thought she had. Til she heard "Pay no attention to that man behind the curtain!"

good night and good luck...stimp