Thursday, January 11, 2007

I take it back

I thought I was nuts. Blind screaming insane. I'm not even close. I sat through W's speech last night and thought, "He's got me beat by a country mile". I thought he was just being stubborn. Now I think he is delusional. PTSD got him on September 11th, and he's been gonzo ever since. Does he really believe that if we send a drop in the bucket's worth of troops to Iraq, it will make one iota of difference? He spoke of Iraqi police going around neighborhoods introducing them selves and making everything all right. Who is he kidding? There has been bad blood between Shia and Sunni since before there was a United States. We tend to forget that the Middle East is called the "Cradle of Civilization" for a reason. They had writing and math while my ancestors were still grunting around fires. Well, maybe not grunting, but you get the idea. After all of the history of the Middle East, Israel, the Crusades, and everything else, what does he expect? That these guys are going to gather around a big campfire hugging and singing "We Are The World", then thank us for showing them the error of their ways? How rude. W, after all this strife, still understands nothing of the culture and people there.

And to make things even more special, he's sent a carrier group to perch near Iran, and is making noises about Iran and Syria. I'm not swearing to it, but I don't figure those guys are scared of the big, bad, United States. The "insurgents", the "terrorists" he's managed to get stirred up in Iraq, where there were precious few before, have our guys by the balls, and are squeezing.

So now we're sending 22,000 new targets. Not enough to really accomplish anything, and too many to risk. I agree with Michael Moore, in a letter posted on his site last night, and which I will post with great thanks here. We're in a position now where we cant win, we can't leave, and we can't do anything constructive. Thanks, George. good night and good luck...stimp

1/10/07
Dear Mr. President,
Thanks for your address to the nation. It's good to know you still want to talk to us after how we behaved in November.
Listen, can I be frank? Sending in 20,000 more troops just ain't gonna do the job. That will only bring the troop level back up to what it was last year. And we were losing the war last year! We've already had over a million troops serve some time in Iraq since 2003. Another few thousand is simply not enough to find those weapons of mass destruction! Er, I mean... bringing those responsible for 9/11 to justice! Um, scratch that. Try this -- BRING DEMOCRACY TO THE MIDDLE EAST! YES!!!
You've got to show some courage, dude! You've got to win this one! C'mon, you got Saddam! You hung 'im high! I loved watching the video of that -- just like the old wild west! The bad guy wore black! The hangmen were as crazy as the hangee! Lynch mobs rule!!!
Look, I have to admit I feel very sorry for the predicament you're in. As Ricky Bobby said, "If you're not first, you're last." And you being humiliated in front of the whole world does NONE of us Americans any good.
Sir, listen to me. You have to send in MILLIONS of troops to Iraq, not thousands! The only way to lick this thing now is to flood Iraq with millions of us! I know that you're out of combat-ready soldiers -- so you have to look elsewhere! The only way you are going to beat a nation of 27 million -- Iraq -- is to send in at least 28 million! Here's how it would work:
The first 27 million Americans go in and kill one Iraqi each. That will quickly take care of any insurgency. The other one million of us will stay and rebuild the country. Simple.
Now, I know you're saying, where will I find 28 million Americans to go to Iraq? Here are some suggestions:
1. More than 62,000,000 Americans voted for you in the last election (the one that took place a year and half into a war we already knew we were losing). I am confident that at least a third of them would want to put their body where there vote was and sign up to volunteer. I know many of these people and, while we may disagree politically, I know that they don't believe someone else should have to go and fight their fight for them -- while they hide here in America.
2. Start a "Kill an Iraqi" Meet-Up group in cities across the country. I know this idea is so early-21st century, but I once went to a Lou Dobbs Meet-Up and, I swear, some of the best ideas happen after the third mojito. I'm sure you'll get another five million or so enlistees from this effort.
3. Send over all members of the mainstream media. After all, they were your collaborators in bringing us this war -- and many of them are already trained from having been "embedded!" If that doesn't bring the total to 28 million, then draft all viewers of the FOX News channel.
Mr. Bush, do not give up! Now is not the time to pull your punch! Don't be a weenie by sending in a few over-tired troops. Get your people behind you and YOU lead them in like a true commander in chief! Leave no conservative behind! Full speed ahead!
We promise to write. Go get 'em W!
Yours,
Michael Moore

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

Stimp:

Excellent post. Fortunately for you, unfortunately for the rest of us, it is our leader who is 'batsh!t insane'.

And now he's aiming for Iran. I weep for this nation. 'Cause most of it have no idea what's coming.

I watched a bit of 'The Early Show' and there was no mention of the saber-rattling at Iran. NONE!

'Liberal' media, my ass!