and now we wait...

Today, I went to the going away party for my nephew. He is leaving for Iraq on Friday, coincidentally my son's birthday. Are going away parties intended to wish someone a good trip, or a good time? Or in today's case, to wish that someone comes back? I am heartsick and soulsick. And worse yet, I am doing my best to keep it all inside. What good would it do anyone to say what screams to come out? I told him to keep his head down as we said goodbye. He reminded me that "they" are not allowed to shoot at medics. Well, he knows that, and supposedly the other side knows that. But who says the bullet knows that? Or the IED, or whatever else comes along. No one else seems to be as concerned about this as I am. Which is understandable. I am, after all, the family fruitcake, certified crazy, and a whacko lefty pacifist besides. Part of me is proud of him for wanting to serve, and offer the most precious thing he has. He volunteered to go. Part of me wants to strangle him, to scream at him. Don't you pay attention to the news? Haven't you seen what has happened to so many others? We passed the 2400 dead mark today. And still we are thumping our collective chest, and beating the drums, this time for Iran. I have hated, argued about, and protested this war since before it began. We have been lied to, tricked, and frightened into doing this, and giving up a good many rights in the process. I was hoping not to have to give up part of my family as well. Others in my family are serving already. But as far as I know, this is the first time one has gone to the actual war. So now I'll wait, and pray, and call his wife more often. If anyone is actually reading this, maybe you could throw out a small prayer to the deity or your choice as well. It's all I can do. That, and wait. good night and good luck...stimp